Easter Sunday 2002

While Christians are celebrating Easter and Jews Passover, I find myself instead celebrating the resurrection of the happy, sexy and spirited guy I used to be. The guy that I loved so much when I was in my twenties but who got lost for a couple of decades and has only recently begun to emerge again. I noticed he was back this morning when I woke up at six thirty and called my girlfriend Lisa, (before I was even out of bed) and told her we were going to Laguna for breakfast.

That's the spirit - enough sitting around feeling sorry for myself about having no one to play with. I never felt sorry for myself about being single when I was in my twenties. When I wanted to play, I picked up the phone and called someone. It's nice to have that guy back again.

It's no big secret why gay men and straight women make such good friends - we have this huge common denominator; We both love guys. And that's more than enough to build a friendship on. Never mind that Lisa is dating three guys and I'm dating exactly none. It just means that my life is a little less complicated than hers is right now. Besides, I'm in a hopelessly involved relationship with my computer here at home right now and that keeps me busier than dating ever could. I hope I get this computer thing all worked out before some handsome dude comes along again because I don't know how I'd find time for both of them in my life.

Anyway, with Laguna bursting at the seams this morning with homo boys, I was the one getting all the action. By the way, gay men don't do Easter Sunday in church it would appear, since they were all in Laguna doing Easter Brunch this morning.  Anyway, I may as well have been in church because it felt like a religious experience with all of those boys running around.

After breakfast, Lisa and I went to the nursery on Pacific Coast Highway where I buy most of my orchids, to see how much of her money I could spend for a change. For a moment I thought I'd landed smack in the middle of a Pride Festival as there were gay boys everywhere, popping out from behind Japanese maples like fairies in an enchanted forest. "How fitting," I thought. "A nursery full of pansies!"

A particularly handsome couple caught my attention the minute they walked in. One of the guys made eye contact with me and though neither of us particularly acknowledged it, we both knew in a heartbeat what was what. For those still living in the dark ages, we call it gaydar. And it seems to generate a more particularly potent signal when it's bouncing off orchids, lilies and pretty pink azaleas. So anyway, handsome dude and I, our interest in each other now clearly established, followed each other around for the next hour like spies in a make-believe jungle of shefflera, wisteria and plumeria.

But you know, I was thinking handsome dude and the guy he was with were together, and so I was politely sticking to my own b'iness when Lisa picks up an arrangement of dried lavender all tucked neatly into a pot with sphagnum moss and manages somehow to send half of it down the front of her and into her jeans. As I'm standing there laughing, Lisa is pulling her britches out and open, showing off her purple panties while smiling and announcing in her biggest outdoor voice, "Well, at least my pussy will smell like lavender!"

I didn't dare look around to see if some little ol' lady was witness to her colorful display of creative languaging. But she informed me the two guys were very close by. No wonder they started hanging so close to us after that - "It's Will & Grace live folks, right here in downtown Laguna at the nursery." There ain't a queer alive who wouldn't recognize a Will & Grace moment when he saw it. I'm sure handsome dude whispered into boyfriend's ear something like, "See Michael, I told you he was gay. Girls don't talk to straight guys like that."

See, the thing is, because us gay guys know so much about straight women, we know exactly how they talk to us and how they don't talk to their boyfriends. And besides, what straight guy do you know would spend an hour and a half advising his girlfriend on the most appropriate voz of orchids for her coffee table??? OK, I'm assuming we're all on the same page now.

As I'm standing there a few minutes later, swooning over some gorgeous arrangement of white phaelenopsis and ivy in a rustic, brass-ensconced basket that cost a quarter of a million dollars, Lisa whispers to me that "my guy" is checking me out. "Why the hell are you whispering,"  I'm thinking. "Everybody in the southern hemisphere now knows what a mouth you've got on you. May as well just shout it out." "Are you sure?" I whispered back. "Really? No way." I look up - dude catches me looking at him looking at me and the cat's now officially outta the bag. Or as Lisa would phrase it....... well, you get the picture.

Embarrassed that we'd each caught the other cruising each other, me and my guy gave up the hunt and swiftly retreated into the cover of the bush, (sorry) which in this case was kentia palms and multi-stemmed marginatas. A good spy knows when he's been had and when it's time to fold his cards and bow out of the game. But hey - it was fun while it lasted.

Anyway, one thing's for sure - this morning at the nursery in Laguna Beach beat the heck out of sitting on a hard pew in church thinking about Jesus hanging on a cross and then trying to wrap my brain around the idea of Mary smoking too much crack and thinking she's seen him come back from the dead. I'm OK with other people believing what they choose to. But somehow, that good looking guy in the nursery this morning was a lot more interesting to me that somebody who lived two thousand years ago.

The constancy of looking back, or looking forward for that matter, usually means missing out on what's right here and now in this moment. I don't want to miss today's sunshine because I'm too busy thinking about that storm that passed through last week. And besides, I'm really very happy contemplating my own resurrection today. And thinking how wonderful it is to have friends like Lisa, who give me a reason to get out of bed in the morning and go play. My friends and my family are all the religion I need. They're here. They're now. And I worship the ground they stand on.

From the water's edge...
Lisa at the nursery
Pussy Cap